I dont think a lot of people understand my mind and where it’s at right now.

It’s tired.

For anyone who knows me well - i believe in love. Just look through my blog. Its all there is. Love and fairy tales and happy ever afters.

And then came my heart break, which many dont understand either. But whatever the case may be - it got broken and i feel like my thoughts and drive for this passionate unforgettable love story took a hit as well.

It takes everything i have to not think about certain things that bring up memories. Every day.
& it is exhausting.

It is so easy to get drunk in affection from people you barely know because for that moment, you feel wanted… and do not feel that constant sting of lonliness that eats away at you every other moment of the day.

It is so easy to say…oh i dont care anymore.i dont want to get hurt again so i am not going to give my heart away again.

but thats not who i am or what i want.

its just so difficult to try and keep moving. my feet are dragging towards the thought of just…. being alone, even if its for my own benefit.  it is scary and i hate it.

probably seems so silly. But my mind and heart are very tired of running a race where i cannot see an end or a reason to run.

But, I wont give up. Promise :)

Rant over.